Author: Drifted

It has been a while since I posted, and the truth is there really has not been much to write about. CL still has not found a job, and AJ has been quietly trying to convince me to leave the car with him a little longer. I can understand why she feels that way, she wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the agreement was very clear from the start. I spoke with her today and told her that tomorrow I am going to get the car back.

She is not very happy with him either, especially since he was only supposed to use the car for very specific reasons. The rules were simple: groceries, department stores, and job interviews. Instead, he continues to use it for everything else, driving people around, running them places, and going out to fast food restaurants. None of this was part of the deal. It is a complete violation of the agreement we made when I trusted him with the car.

What makes this harder is that I went into this hoping it would be a chance for him to step up, prove himself responsible, and show that he could handle more. Instead, it feels like he is showing me the same pattern I have seen before. I do not like being in this position, but at the same time, I know I cannot let it slide. If I do, it only tells him that the rules do not matter.

AJ called and told me that CL finally got his VA paperwork for benefits. If that is the case, he should be getting a nice large check with back pay. That could give him the chance to pay for the car, or at least half of it, but only time will tell. He also told AJ that he may have a job, but I do not believe it. He has lied about this kind of thing in the past when he was trying to get something.

As it stands, I am taking the car back in seven days as per our agreement if he cannot prove that he actually has a job. If he comes back later and can show proof after I have already taken the car, I am torn on whether I should return it to him or just sell it. I guess the decision this coming weekend will depend on what this week looks like and whether he can prove he is working.

We also tried to go camping this weekend. When we got out to the campsite, it was infested with ants. Normally that wouldn’t be too big of a problem, but the park even warned us about it when we checked in, and they were everywhere. AE and I stayed one night while AJ was babysitting CL’s kids so he and his girlfriend could go to a movie for her birthday. AJ showed up at the site around 1:00 a.m. The next morning the rain started and didn’t stop, so between the ants and the downpour we decided to pack it in and head home.

Sunday turned out to be a productive day. We cleaned out part of the garage and moved a lot of things into storage. Combining the houses is still an ongoing process, but every step gets us closer. I cannot wait until it is finally complete.

I realized I have been writing my entries a day behind, so I am going to change it up and just recap the day before.

Yesterday went really well. AE had no issues getting up and did everything he was supposed to do when he got home from school. I booked the campsite for this weekend as well as for the 20th. This weekend will just be local, but the trip on the 20th will take us out to West Texas.

In the evening, AJ was supposed to go to Bible study with the group in the neighborhood, and I planned to stay home with AE and play Xbox. AJ ended up coming back shortly after leaving, saying that Bible study is actually next week, not this one.

Around that time, I got a text from my buddy MH about meeting up to watch the first football game of the season: the Eagles vs. Cowboys. Since I am just now getting into football at age 50, I figured why not. So AJ and I met up with MH and SF (her nephew) to watch the game.

I watched a few games last year and plan on watching a lot more this year. Since most of what I have caught so far has been Eagles games, I guess that is the team I will lean toward. With AJ, AE, and I camping this weekend, we made plans to meet up with MH, and maybe SF, this evening to watch the Chiefs and Chargers game.

On a different note, I have also been writing letters to AJ. Sometimes it is easier for me to bring things up in writing because it gives me the chance to find the right words. These letters are raw and private, but I plan to include them here as part of this site. They are as much a part of our story as the trips and the daily entries.

Just like every other day, AE does not like to get out of bed. I know this is typical for kids, but AE really puts up a fight. The internet to his Xbox typically gets cut off at 9 p.m. and his TV off at 10 p.m. With all of the disrespect the last two days, it has been reduced to 8:15 p.m. for the Xbox and 9:15 for the TV. This is the only punishment that I can actually enforce without having AJ override it. She does not have the passwords to get into the internet controls.

Of course, CL could not keep his fingers off the keys. This morning he decided to go to the gas station, I am sure to buy a vape, and then to the Family Dollar, more than likely for diapers as he refuses to potty train his 2-year-old daughter, and then to Bush’s Chicken to spend money on fast food. Money that should be spent going to the grocery store. I am pretty sure he was not there for an interview. Of course I bring this up to AJ and what does she do?  She is dismissive of it and says she will talk with CL about it.  I know where this is going to go as if CL is opening his mouth, he is lying.

AJ and I went to a local wine bar in town this evening. It was a nice, quiet place to just relax. We ended up playing cards with the owner and talking about how we might start going there on Wednesdays, since we are always looking for places to go together. I mentioned to AJ that it would even be a good spot to record the podcast if it ever gets to that point.

I have been thinking about taking the RV out this weekend just to get away again. The only catch is that I would have to take AE with me, since AJ is planning to babysit CL’s little ones. So I am still up in the air about it. If I do go, though, it would give me some space and time to work on my book.

Lately, I have been circling back to the same thought: the stories I am writing are not really about mysteries. Sure, there are missing deeds, stolen heirlooms, council fraud, even a sabotaged festival. Those puzzles keep the pages turning, but they are not the heart of it. What it is really about is how people live with loss. How they carry it without letting it bury them. How, sometimes, almost reluctantly, they open the door to love again.

The characters at the center are both widowed, both convinced their best days are behind them. They do not fall into each other’s arms easily. Instead, they circle, retreat, misstep, and try again, all while uncovering the secrets and schemes that ripple through a small town trying to survive change.

And the town itself feels like a character. Porch lights, festivals, church suppers, whispered gossip at the diner. It is all part of a place that remembers your name, even when you have almost forgotten who you are.

The mysteries always resolve. But the deeper truth, the one that keeps me writing, is this: grief does not end. It changes shape. And sometimes it clears just enough space for something new to grow.

 

Today started off as a good day, until it wasn’t. I worked from home like normal, nothing out of the ordinary, until I started getting alerts from the GPS tracker on the car that CL drives. He knows about the tracker and agreed to it when we set up the arrangement. It’s there so I can protect my asset, because $8,700 is no small amount to risk.

What did I find? He was driving to KFC for lunch and chauffeuring his friends around town. This is in clear violation of our agreement that the car is only to be used for groceries, job interviews, and emergencies. When I brought it up to AJ, she kind of brushed it off. That didn’t sit well with me at all. She doesn’t say it out loud, but I don’t think she cares if I’m upset about this. She lets both CL and AW walk all over her, and it feels like she doesn’t want to hold them accountable. Well, I do. If this behavior with CL continues, I’ll take the car back and sell it. I know I won’t get the full $8,700, but I’ll get something, and at least I’ll know the lesson is clear.

Later, AE got home from school and immediately started pushing buttons. He flat-out refused to do his simple chores, picking up his room and taking a shower. It amazes me how much he resists being clean, as if even the basics are too much to ask.

Things escalated once AJ got home from work. AE was already being rambunctious, and when asked to settle down, he didn’t. Instead of correcting him, she tried to redirect the energy and invited him to help cook dinner. That’s something I really struggle with because I won’t eat food he’s touched, he’s constantly putting his fingers in his nose or mouth. Thankfully, he declined, but he still made a mess in the kitchen with other things. And, as usual, she allowed it. Which meant later, I was the one left to clean it up.

A few hours later, nothing had changed. He was still wild, and she did nothing about it. He continued to refuse a shower but eventually decided he wanted a bath. Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, but this 11-year-old manages to flood the bathroom every time, and if I don’t clean it up, the water just sits there. Once again, I was the one stuck with it.

Then, right before bed, AJ put the dog in AE’s room. She knows the dog has a habit of using the floor as a bathroom, and I’ve made it clear I don’t want the dog in there at night. It will ruin the carpet. This is my home, I pay for it. AJ doesn’t cover anything in the household except food. Yet another rule broken because she gives in to what AE wants.

All of this has me thinking seriously about a prenuptial agreement before we get married. It’s not something I want to do, but days like this make me realize how important it might be.

Once we landed in DFW, we made a stop in Waco to pick up AE, her youngest. While we were there, we also sat down with CL to have an honest talk about responsibility and the car. I told him he has until September 14th to get a job and show proof of it. For now, he can drive the car, but only under certain conditions: he has to work toward paying his own insurance and start making payments, and he’s only allowed to use the car for the grocery store, job interviews, and emergencies.

If he can’t follow through by the 14th, I’ll have to take the car back. It wasn’t a conversation I enjoyed having, but I know it was necessary. If he’s ever going to learn to take responsibility, the boundaries have to be clear, and the follow-through has to be real.

We rented a car and made a stop at the Area 51 gift shop on our way out to Death Valley National Park. In the small village of Furnace Creek, the temperature hit a blistering 109 degrees. We had hoped to explore more, but it was simply too hot and we were completely unprepared for the conditions. Instead, we turned back toward Las Vegas. Along the way, we stopped at Charleston Peak Winery in Pahrump, NV. We did a wine tasting, though none of the wines really stood out to us. What made the experience unique, however, was that they served meatballs alongside the tasting, something I’ve never seen anywhere else.

Once back in Las Vegas, we picked up our marriage certificate from the Clark County Office. The entire process only took about 15 minutes, and the certificate is valid for one year. From there, we visited The Little White Chapel to check it out ahead of our October wedding. We both thought it was charming and decided that’s exactly where we’ll be getting married.

Afterward, we returned the rental car, grabbed a taxi back to the Luxor, and later walked down to New York-New York for dinner, closing out another memorable day together.

We flew out to Las Vegas on Frontier Airlines, and the flight went off without a hitch, even though Frontier is a budget airline. We landed around 10 a.m. and headed straight to the Luxor to see if we could check in early. Thankfully, it wasn’t a problem, they were able to get us into a room right away, though they switched us from a king to a double queen.

That afternoon, we went to see the Blue Man Group and picked up painting number three for our wall, we’re working toward a set of four. Later that evening, we met up with friends for dinner and drinks, a perfect way to end our first day in the city.

I picked up a car for CL, her oldest and drew up a written agreement to make sure he takes responsibility, since the title is in my name. The agreement sets out that he’ll pay back the $8,750 over two years at $350 per month. To be honest, I don’t fully trust him when it comes to money, he has a history of saying he has a job when he really doesn’t, and that makes me cautious. Helping him get this car is a chance for him to step up, but I know it will take more than words this time. He’ll have to prove through his actions that he’s willing to follow through.

While we were in Las Vegas, we left the youngest with the oldest. He’s done this before, so it wasn’t anything new, but it’s still reassuring to know he can handle that responsibility.