Author: Drifted

Today AJ told me that she is thinking about giving the wedding bands from her late husband to CL so he can use them to propose to the girl he is with. She asked me if I thought it was a good idea.

I told her that it was completely up to her and that I did not have an opinion on the matter. At least, not one that I was willing to share with her.

The truth is that I do have concerns about it. I do not have much confidence in CL’s decision making, and I worry that if he ever gets desperate for money he might end up pawning them. That is not something I can really say to AJ, though, so I kept that thought to myself.

I was in St. Louis this week for a work trip. Honestly, I have started to appreciate these trips more than I expected. I never thought I would enjoy being back on the road for work, but in some ways it has become a blessing in disguise.

Being away means I do not have to deal with AE as much during the week. The downside is coming home to the things that AJ allows him to get away with while I am gone.

While I was in St. Louis, she let AE sleep in the living room the entire time. I have been very clear that I do not like that. The living room is a shared space, not a bedroom. When I bring it up, she usually just laughs it off and says that when I am not home they do not have to follow the rules.

I did not push the issue this time, but the next time I travel, if I find out she is letting him sleep in the living room again, I am considering removing the restrictions on his Xbox and television and unblocking YouTube so she can deal with the consequences herself.

I am getting very tired of coming home and having to reset everything back to normal. Every time I return, I end up having to enforce the rules all over again because they were not followed while I was gone.

Situations like this are starting to create distance between AJ and me. It also creates friction between AE and me when I try to enforce the rules after being away.

Today we took AE to the gun range so he could shoot his .22 caliber rifle. He had been begging all weekend, and I finally gave in. Since he had been behaving well since we got back from our trip, I figured it would be a good reward for him.

While we were at the range, everything actually went smoothly. He followed instructions and did not cause any problems. We stayed for about an hour, and he did not even complain when it was time to leave.

As soon as we got home, though, things changed. It felt like once he had gotten what he wanted, he no longer felt the need to behave. He went right back to being disrespectful to everyone in the house and ignoring the rules we have set. He argued about nearly everything AJ or I asked him to do.

I am taking this as another lesson learned with him. I told him that since he cannot handle it, I will not be taking him to the gun range anymore. If AJ wants him to go, she can take him to the indoor range instead.

AJ and I went to Three Texans Winery this evening with BA and LA. The conversation with them was good, and overall it was a pleasant time.

During the evening AJ mentioned that she did not like receiving the letters I have written to her in the past. That caught me off guard because in the past she had told me that she liked getting them.

When things like that happen, it makes me start doubting the things she tells me. It also brings the emotional affair she had with KH back into my mind again.

She says that she is no longer talking with him and that he stopped responding to her right before we got married. Still, the doubt sits in my head. I find myself wondering if there is something else she is hiding.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just overthinking everything.

AJ and I decided to take a long weekend since we thought it might be our last chance for a while, with CL expecting yet another baby. I do not understand why he keeps having kids when neither of them works and they have no income. CJ just does not seem to have a clue.

CL agreed to watch AE while we were gone. With a little bribery, AE behaved well enough for CJ during the trip. I offered him a $50 Roblox gift card and promised to take him to the range when we got back.

We flew out of Texas and landed in San Francisco. I took AJ to Pier 39 to see the sea lions. After that we went to an old fort to get a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, and then drove across it as we headed toward the coast.

We spent the weekend driving up the coast toward Redwood National Park. The views along the coastline were incredible. I never realized just how beautiful the rocky coastline was. Seeing those massive trees in person was also something special. The size of them is hard to describe unless you are standing right next to them.

From there we drove to Crater Lake National Park. While driving through the mountain passes we received a winter storm warning, but we managed to avoid getting caught in it. When we arrived at Crater Lake there was snow everywhere, and AJ was in heaven seeing it. We even rented snowshoes and walked around the area for a while.

We were in a rental car and it started snowing again, so we decided not to risk getting stuck. We headed down from Crater Lake and continued on to Portland since we were flying out the next day. We also wanted to see AS, who has been there since January.

We were able to see him briefly that night after he got off work, and then we met him again for breakfast the following morning. While we were there, we also crossed over into Washington to grab a coffee, just so we could check another state off our maps.

Tonight AJ and I went to play Bunco at a local winery with BA and LA. AJ and LA have made amends with their friendship.

It really does not matter much to me, but at least it gives us someone to spend time with from time to time, even though LA mostly talks about herself.

This week I was in Denver for a company kickoff meeting. A couple of days before I left, a snow and ice storm hit Texas, which ended up affecting my travel plans.

I originally had a 6 a.m. flight scheduled, but it was cancelled because of the weather. Fortunately I was able to get on a 6 p.m. flight later that evening. By the time I finally arrived in Denver, the first day of the event was already over. I was cold, tired, and hungry, so I decided to just go straight to bed.

While I was in Denver, AJ called me several times. During those calls she told me about how AE was treating her when I was not home. She said he had been giving her a hard time and acting disrespectfully. From my perspective, that is not really any different from how he often behaves when I am there.

She also told me that he had been keeping her from sleeping and that she had ended up sleeping in the living room. That really goes against how I feel about things in the house. The living room is a common area, not a bedroom. She knows that I do not like anyone sleeping there, but when I am not home she does not enforce that rule. Instead she jokes that when I am gone they do not have to follow the rules.

I told her that if she continues to allow him to sleep in the living room when I am not there, then I am going to remove the limits I have placed on his Xbox and television and unblock YouTube. She did not like hearing that at all.

My thinking was simple. If the rules are going to be ignored when I am not there, then the least I could do is make his bedroom more appealing so he actually wants to sleep there instead of in the living room.

Since we had a long weekend, we decided to make the best of it and head to Hot Springs, Arkansas, to see Hot Springs National Park. Right after work we packed up and took off.

The first night at the hotel was rough. AE was bouncing off the walls and would not let anyone sleep. He refused to listen to anything AJ or I asked him to do. He was jumping on the beds and beating on the furniture, and after a restless night we continued on to Hot Springs.

Once we got there, we explored the area and AJ wanted to go into the springs. The problem was that they were all privately owned bathhouses and you had to pay to get in. Since AE was not old enough to go into them, that was not an option, so we ended up just driving around the National Park instead.

It felt like everything we wanted to do was something AE was not going to allow to happen. We did go to a wax museum, but that turned out to be a waste of money. We also found the National Park store where AE bought a bracelet. I think it was his third or fourth one of that same type.

We had planned to stay in a cabin at a KOA Campground for the entire weekend. We even had firewood delivered because we thought it would be nice to relax around the campfire and have some wine. That did not work out the way we had hoped. AE, even at twelve years old, still could not leave the fire alone without playing in it. I tried to ignore what he was doing and let AJ deal with it.

It was also too early in the year and there were no other kids around for AE to play with. That made everything worse because all he wanted to do was fish, with no place nearby to fish, and to keep playing with the fire. By that point the trip was already going downhill. We ended up cancelling the rest of our time at the KOA and headed to Oklahoma instead.

AJ was able to find us an Airbnb near Beavers Bend State Park. I think she could already tell that I was ready to just go home, so that first night she asked if I would find a local winery with her. We did a tasting, bought a few bottles, and brought them back to the house.

As AJ and I were trying to relax, AE kept going in and out of the hot tub. Because it was cold outside, he was tracking water everywhere and making the floor slippery. I did not say anything about it, but AJ seemed to be getting annoyed. Eventually we wrapped things up and went inside.

Of course, once we were inside, AE still tried to dictate what we were doing in the Airbnb. I ended up finishing the bottles of wine that AJ and I had started.

The next day we explored Beavers Bend State Park, and later that evening AJ and I picked up more wine since we were heading home the next morning.

That night AJ asked me if I knew where the bracelet AE had bought at the National Park store was. I told her that I had not seen it.

The next morning, while we were cleaning up, she found it in the bag where I keep my toiletries. The bag had been sitting in the bathroom, and I told her I had no idea how it got in there. She accused me of putting it there to hide it from AE.

She told me that no matter what I say, she does not believe that I did not put the bracelet in my bag. I am not sure she understands that I would not want to make the situation worse with him. If anything, I try to avoid doing things that would create more problems.

I also do not think she realizes the damage it causes when she treats me that way. It pushes me away from her, and it is starting to put a wedge between us.

The entire drive home she barely spoke to me. I think she may have said only three words the whole way back.

AJ got tickets for the three of us to go see a monster truck show in Austin. I had not been to anything like that since I was a kid, so it was interesting to see that monster trucks are still very much a thing.

It turned out that the event was actually Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Live rather than Monster Jam, but it was still a good show and fun to watch.

I ended up recording most of the event so AE could use the footage on a YouTube channel I have been working on with him. I started the channel as a way to try and build a better relationship with him.

It has not been easy. AE can be very disrespectful much of the time, and it is difficult to ignore. Still, I recorded the whole event because I am trying my hardest to make things better between us.

Christmas Eve Breakfast is an event I do not really look forward to. AJ loves hosting it though, so I go along with it for her.

Since we have been together, it has always been a bit of a challenge. The first year we hosted it at the house where we live now. At the time the house was still fairly new, and people did things that really bothered me. It felt like they did not treat the home with much respect, and by the end of the event the place was left pretty trashed.

The second year it was held at AJ’s new home, and unfortunately the same thing happened. Now that we are married and living under the same roof, the breakfast was hosted at our place again. Some people did help with cleaning up this time, which I appreciated, but during the event one of her sisters was very disrespectful to us in our own home. Considering how she keeps her own house, I guess it should not have surprised me.

Even with that, I still managed to have an alright time. I had picked up a cipher puzzle box that had twenty dollars inside it, and a lot of people spent time trying to guess the code to unlock it. That actually turned into a fun distraction during the morning.

Of course the amount of trash left behind afterward was unbelievable, but we managed to get through it.

One thing that continues to bother me is that AJ knows I do not like anyone going into our bedroom, yet she still allows people in there. That has been a boundary I have been clear about, and it is frustrating when it feels like it is not respected.

CL was there as well, which is understandable since he is her son. AJ and I had spent money buying gifts for his kids, but CL decided to take all of the gifts home so the kids could open them on Christmas Day instead. That was his choice, but it still rubbed me the wrong way.

To be honest, I struggle with him. From my perspective he is not doing much to support those kids. He refuses to get a job, and AJ and I are not even sure if he is actually going to school anymore, even though he says he is. At times I find it difficult to even want him in the house.