Today was a very difficult day for me. After everything that happened during the trip to Bandera, and the way AJ had been acting, I finally felt like I had to look at the messages that had been sent to my phone.
When I read them, my world came crashing down again. Over the past three years that AJ and I had been in a relationship, she and KH had been having an emotional affair. There were many messages between them talking about how they had feelings for each other but that the distance between them was the issue. There were even photos of them kissing, although those were taken before I was ever in the picture.
Still, reading the messages was devastating. AJ had written several times that she would have waited for him, that they were worth waiting for, and that while she was building a life with me, she was secretly in love with him.
I called her and told her that I had read the messages. I told her how badly it hurt and that it felt like she had ripped my heart apart. We had been planning a life together, and suddenly it felt like the last few years had been built on a lie.
A few hours later, I sent her a message asking if I could come by her house during lunch so we could talk in person. She agreed. When I got there, we talked about everything. She told me that she would give up KH if it meant losing me. I knew that KH had helped her through some very difficult times after she lost her husband, so I was hesitant to completely demand that she cut him out of her life. I told her they could remain friends, but only if the sexting stopped and if they only spoke on the phone when I was around.
While we were talking, KH called her. I could not handle it in that moment. I got up, walked out, and drove back home.
Later in the afternoon, close to the end of the workday, she sent me a text asking if she could come over to talk. I agreed. We talked more about the messages and how deeply it hurt me to read them. She said that a lot of what they said to each other was just joking and talking trash back and forth, and that they did not really have feelings for each other.
I did not believe that. I still think they have real feelings for each other.
Even with all of that, we decided to stay together and try to work through it.
Drifted Notes 