Month: March 2026

Things have been going fairly well at the house lately.

AJ did mention that CL is not planning to come to the seafood boil we are organizing around Easter. Apparently, he is worried that I will bring up the car and the money he owes me. I told her that if he does come, I would not bring it up, but at the same time I cannot say I am upset that he feels some pressure from the situation. He should.

I had to travel out of town for work yesterday and was gone overnight. While I was away, AJ allowed AE to sleep on the couch again. That is something they both know I cannot stand.

I do not understand why she continues to allow it, especially knowing how strongly I feel about it. It may seem like a small thing, but it slowly eats away at the trust between us.

This evening, though, was pretty rough.

We went out to dinner with one of AE’s friends. It ended up being embarrassing. AE is an extremely messy eater, and it is hard to believe at times that he is twelve. Every time we go out, it feels like the same situation.

After dinner, things got worse. AE went right back to his old behavior, likely because he was worked up and AJ would not allow his friend to spend the night. He started tearing apart a box from a model kit. When he could not break it any further, he began hitting it aggressively until he flipped it over and broke a piece off.

AJ tried to sit down and do some watercolor painting, but AE inserted himself into that as well and created more chaos.

It feels like just when things start to settle and improve, they quickly fall apart again. I have a feeling that our plans over the next few weeks are going to change, because the good days never seem to last very long.

It has been a few days since I have written anything.

Over the weekend, AJ and I worked on the flower bed in the front yard, and I think it turned out really well. We also returned the Lovesac couch she had talked me into getting. It just did not work for us. The dog hair stuck to it constantly, and the gaps between the cushions made it uncomfortable.

A couple of days ago, AJ signed the family up for a membership at the local YMCA. Last night was our first time going. It was alright. I spent some time walking on the treadmill, but AJ was not really able to get a workout in because AE would not leave her alone long enough. He eventually went into the pool and ended up hanging out with another kid, while AJ and I just sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish.

This morning I ordered a new Apple Watch. The Garmin watch has been fine, but I am tired of dealing with the charging cables. They never seem to stay connected properly, and it has become more of a hassle than it is worth. Since my Apple Watch is about four years old, it felt like a good time to upgrade to something with a better battery.

I was supposed to fly out to Springfield, Missouri for work, but those plans changed because the TSA lines were too long to make the trip practical. Since I am not flying out, I will be helping another PSM down in Houston on Thursday and will be back home on Friday.

I had planned to reach out to CL today to see if he had a plan to catch up on what he owes, but I decided not to. I am concerned that if I push him too hard, he will take it out on AJ. I think that may already be part of why she has been acting differently at home.

With the baby on the way, I expect they are going to run into even bigger issues. The car they have is already too small, and I do not see how they are going to fit three car seats in it. I had previously offered to buy the car back, but he wanted more than what he paid, which does not make sense considering he is still paying me for it. At this point, that offer is off the table. I honestly do not know how they are going to make things work, especially when no one in that household seems willing to get a job.

All in all, it was a fairly quiet day otherwise.

I gave CL a few days to think things through and come up with a plan to pay back what he owes. I did give him credit for the $1,000 that AJ gave him, even though it still does not make sense to me to take money out of the household just to turn around and put it back in.

I walked him through all of the numbers so everything was clear. His response was that he is not going to pay back the additional money I loaned him for the repairs on the car. That is not something I agree with, but at least now I know where he stands.

Since his stipend is deposited into AJ’s account, I am going to make sure that she sends me what he owes first and then gives him whatever remains. That was the original agreement, and it needs to be followed. I am also going to push for double payments until he is caught up.

At the end of our conversation, I made it clear to him that it does not make sense for me to take money out of my household to cover his responsibilities, especially when he refuses to get a job and support his own family.

On the other hand, AE has been changing. Since the conversation where I explained that AJ and I were at the point of discussing divorce, he seems to understand what is at stake. His attitude has shifted, and things around the house have been better. Everyone is getting along more, which has made a noticeable difference.

AJ seems different as well. I think she is trying right now. She has been making an effort to contribute financially to the household, which I do appreciate. I also think she understands that I have reached a point where my tolerance for everything that has been going on is gone, and I am no longer willing to accept it.

Since I told her that I would not be updating her on conversations with CL unless she specifically asks, there has been very little discussion about it between us. We did talk briefly about CL claiming that I am trying to screw him over with the car. I told her that if I really wanted to go that route, I could create a much bigger problem for him by involving law enforcement over issues like the car not being insured, along with other things that could potentially impact his standing with school or his probation.

That is not what I am trying to do. I just want him to take responsibility and follow through on what he agreed to.

I had to turn off CL’s phone today to get his attention about the money he owes me for the car and how far behind he is. I had reached out to him yesterday and got no response, so this felt like the only way to get him to engage.

When he finally responded, he said there was no way he was that far behind and dismissed the repair costs as “bullshit fees.” I explained to him that once the car was put in his name, it became his responsibility, including any repairs. That was especially true since he never followed through on getting insurance like he originally agreed.

He also claimed that AJ had been taking money out of his stipend and giving it to me, which never happened. What I did find out, though, is that on February 28, 2026, AJ gave him $1,000 to help him catch up on the car. I was not aware of this until the following day when she and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking through the issues we have been dealing with.

I told her that I felt that was unacceptable. He needs to start taking responsibility for himself. If he is old enough to have kids and build a family, then he should be able to handle his own bills without relying on her.

I also made it clear that if she continues to support him financially, I am not going to continue to accept that. It adds to the sense of betrayal I have already been dealing with, especially in light of everything that has happened in our relationship.

She agreed that she would stop supporting him financially. At this point, though, only time will tell if that actually happens.

I had a serious conversation with AE. I explained to him that the tension and ongoing conflict in the house, especially between him and me, has been putting a real strain on the relationship between AJ and me. I told him that AJ and I have even had conversations about the possibility of divorce, because no one wants to live in a home where there is constant conflict and stress.

He seemed to understand that this is not a small issue and that there is a lot at stake. I made sure he understood that his behavior and how we all interact with each other has a real impact on the household.

I also explained to him what that could mean if things were to continue the way they have been. If AJ and I were to separate, it would mean major changes. They would have to move, and our lives would no longer be connected in the same way. We would likely no longer be part of each other’s day-to-day lives.

It was not an easy conversation to have, but I felt it was important for him to understand the seriousness of the situation and how much is on the line.

Morning was very bad.  AE would not get up for school after repeated attempts from AJ to wake him up.  He ended up missing the bus

I was talking to AJ on her way to work and she said that I am too restrictive and AE does not like to be at the house because it is not fun. I asked why he can’t play in the game room as that is what it is meant for and she said that he is too isolated in there. The house is an open concept. Yes, the game room is off to the side but that is what the room is meant for. AE is so destructive that I don’t want any of my things broken. I am half way tempted to remove all breakables out of the living room to include the TV to make a point.

I do plan on asking AE if he knows what a divorce is. Let him know that if his mom and I get one, they will have to move and AS and I would not be in their lives anymore.

Another fucked up day in the house, and another sleepless night.

It started this morning when AJ talked to me like I was stupid. I had asked her about a tree that was being cut down at her work because I was trying to clarify something she mentioned earlier. Instead of just answering the question, she responded in a way that made me feel like an idiot for asking.

She told me about some mental health services that could come to the house to evaluate AE while he is at home with us. I actually think that is a really good idea.

Later in the afternoon she received a message from AE’s school saying he had been defiant in science class. He was tossing around a fidget toy and distracting the other students. He refused to do any of his work. Eventually someone was called in to help redirect him, but he just sat at his desk and started slamming his hand into his Chromebook. She also told me she has a conflict tomorrow, so I will have to take him to football practice while she attends a meeting with her group. I really do not want to do that at all.

AE had golf practice after school, and AJ and I decided to go out for dinner instead of trying to cook at home. For a while things were actually fine. I made a point of sitting somewhere where everyone could get the type of food they wanted.

After dinner, things went downhill quickly. As soon as we got home he started being rude and disrespectful to everyone in the house and making the whole place miserable.

When I was getting ready for bed, AJ was extremely upset and started blaming me for AE’s behavior. I asked her what I had done wrong, and she could not give me an answer.

I ended up leaving the bedroom and going into my office. While I was there I started looking up how long it takes to get a divorce in Texas. From what I read, if it is uncontested it can take about sixty days. What I really wanted to know was whether I would have to give up my house if it came to that. From what I could tell, anything owned before the marriage is considered personal property and the other person has no claim to it.

While I was reading, I overheard AE ask AJ where I was. She said I was in my office and was probably looking up divorces. She knows I am at my wits’ end with him, but divorce would still be a last resort for me. I do want this marriage to work.

Later that evening, after things had cooled down, I went back into the bedroom to try and get some sleep. I stayed right on the edge of the bed on my side so I would not touch her.

At one point she said she cannot wait until AE turns eighteen so he can get the hell out. Honestly, I could not even argue with that statement. She also mentioned that she cannot live the way she and her late husband did, with a house full of anger. I told her that I love her and that I still choose her, but I am not sure she chooses me the same way. The issues with CL and AE are driving a wedge between us, and I do not know what to do about it. After a while we made some small talk. I reached over to see if she would pull away. When she did not, I pulled her closer and held her. It felt like she did not really want that. She did mention that she found a family counselor and she was going to call them tomorrow. We shall see if she actually does.

For the past few months I have had this growing feeling that maybe she only settled for me. Like she really missed the boat with KH. Sometimes it feels like her kids deserve happiness but I do not, and because I do not make that my top priority, I become the bad guy. I guess time will tell how all of this plays out.

While we were in bed, AE came out of his room and went into the bathroom. I heard AJ say to him, “What the hell?” Since we were actually speaking again at that point, I asked what was going on. AE said he was taking a shower because he had shit his pants. I honestly do not understand how a twelve-year-old is still dealing with that.

I have also been thinking about why I am putting all off this online. I know AJ would be extremely upset if she ever found out. But the reality is that I cannot tell her everything that is on my mind, either verbally or through letters. The letters made her uncomfortable, so I stopped writing them. But I have to get it out of my system. I actually took the ones she had kept and shredded them. She has not noticed yet.

I could not sleep again last night, so I ended up getting up and watching a movie in the living room. While I was watching it, I had time to think about a few things.

First, when it comes to CL and the car, I have removed all expectations that I am ever going to see the rest of the money I paid for it returned. I am not going to bring it up to AJ anymore either. I already told her that I will no longer involve her in those conversations. She tends to focus on his best interests rather than what is best for the household, so at this point it is what it is.

I am still paying for his phone though. I have decided that the next time he misses a payment, I am not going to say anything to anyone. I will simply turn the phone off. He has the money now where he can get his own phone, and since he is not my child, AJ or his dad can pay for it if they want him to have one.

I am also going to do the same thing with AE. If AJ wants him to have a phone, then she can pay for it. I am also planning to cancel all of the subscriptions I pay for since AE is really the only one who uses them. I am no longer willing to cover those either.

When AJ invites CL over to the house, I will just make sure that I am not there. I do not want any part of being around him.

Later that morning we tried to go to church, but AE was being extremely difficult. By the time we were ready to leave, we were already going to be very late. I asked AJ in the car if we should just go get breakfast instead since we were running so far behind. She said she was not hungry and that there were some things she needed to take care of, so we skipped church and handled those errands instead.

While we were out, and knowing she had been stressed about the situation with CJ and the car, I took her to get her nails done in hopes that it would improve her mood. It actually worked and helped make the rest of the day better.

Before heading home she wanted to stop by a campground that is not far from the house. She ended up talking me into booking a site there for Easter weekend. That means we will now be camping two weekends in a row. I am not sure I am really up for that, because spending that much time camping with AE can be pretty exhausting.

After we got home we had a couple of hours before a fish fry we were planning to attend. AJ and I tried to relax, but AE would not let us. He was playing Xbox in his room and kept coming out making all kinds of strange noises. We even told him we were trying to take a nap, and he said he would not allow it. So that ended any chance of getting some rest.

At the fish fry things were actually fine. AE did not really get on anyone’s nerves while we were there.

On the way home, though, he mentioned that he had a pain in his abdomen and that sometimes it hurt when he went to the bathroom. He had mentioned something like that once before but then never said anything else about it, so AJ had assumed it was nothing.

This time he brought it up again and said he did not want to wait to get an appointment. AJ called her mom, who is a nurse, and she told her to go ahead and take him to the emergency room.

So we ended up at the ER on the way home. We spent about two hours there before they determined that he has a urinary tract infection. Thankfully it was nothing serious.

AJ has hardly said two words to me yesterday. In the morning she asked me why I seem to have different standards when it comes to her kids. She brought up the fact that I lent money to a friend and have not gotten anything back from him yet.

The difference, at least from my perspective, is that my friend never promised to pay me back on a specific schedule. We do talk from time to time about when he might be able to start paying me back, but it has never been a set expectation. Those conversations also do not involve her.

The situation with CJ is very different. It does involve her, and he has done nothing but lie to both of us about things. At this point it feels like whenever CJ opens his mouth, he is lying about something.

AE went fishing and caught some fish.  As soon as he returned he was relenless on making arrangements on setting up a fish fry.  AJ reached out to her nephew and asked if he would like do so something tomorrow.  He agreed and that shut up AE about it.

Yesterday AJ and I were having a really good day, until things suddenly changed.

I remembered that CJ was supposed to start receiving funds again from his dad’s GI Bill. He had actually received money about a month earlier, but that had been hidden from me because he still owes me money for the car I bought for him a few months ago. When things like that happen, it makes me question why I was not told and what else might not be getting shared with me.

Last night I asked AJ why I had not been paid before the money was sent to him, since we had all agreed on how the payments were supposed to work. I was supposed to receive $1,150 this month. That included $800 for the money I loaned him to repair the car and $350 for the monthly car payment.

I asked her if he planned on making that payment. She told me that I would only be getting the $350 and not the full $1,150 that was owed.

CJ is already months behind on payments because he stopped going to class and lost his VA stipend. His dad had to pay money back just to get the stipend started again. After I got upset about the situation, I was given $1,000 for the month.

This whole car situation is putting a lot of strain on AJ and me. I am starting to feel like I am being used by both of them. I hate even thinking that way about someone who is supposed to be my wife, but when I am expected to pay for nearly everything it starts to build up. It is not just the house expenses, but also helping support her kids.

She sometimes says that I do too much for AS, but the truth is that I have not given my son a single dollar in well over a year.

From where I sit, it feels like she is using most of her paycheck to support CJ, who refuses to support himself, while whatever the house needs ends up falling on me to cover.

Nothing like going to be angry and upset and having a sleepless night.