I can’t believe it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written you a letter. Life has been moving so quickly, and we’ve had so much going on lately. Between Alec moving into your house and you transitioning into this one, there’s been a lot of change, but it’s all been part of something beautiful.
Watching how naturally you’ve stepped into this house and started to make it our home has meant so much to me. What once felt cold, industrial, and a bit impersonal is now slowly becoming filled with warmth, comfort, and life, all because of you. The little touches you bring, the thought you put into each room, the way you soften the edges, it’s exactly what this place needed.
I feel lucky every day to build this life with you. Thank you for making this house feel like it’s truly ours.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous about Alec being on his own. It’s one of those milestones that hits a parent differently, the kind that comes with pride, but also a quiet, lingering concern. I just hope he can manage the house, the bills, and everything else that adulthood throws at him.
No matter how old your kids get, I don’t think the wondering ever stops. You still find yourself asking, Will they be okay? Will they manage? Will life be kind to them? But deep down, I know he’s going to be just fine. He’s strong, smart, and capable. And while he might hit a few bumps along the way, we all do, I have no doubt he’ll find his footing and build something solid for himself. I believe in him.
The 4th of July weekend was truly amazing, one of those weekends that lingers in your memory for all the right reasons. Hanging out with your brother Billy was such a great experience. He’s got a laid-back energy that made everything feel easy and fun, and it honestly felt like one of those rare moments where time just slows down for a bit.
I’d love to go back up there next year, maybe even stay at the RV park and make a full experience out of it. The fireworks were absolutely one of the highlights, they lit up the sky in a way that just felt magical, like the perfect punctuation mark to a weekend full of good company, and little moments that mattered.
Lately, I’ve been really struggling with my dreams. It’s strange, I never seem to remember the good ones, only the ones that leave a weight on my chest when I wake up. I don’t want to dream about my past, but that’s where my mind keeps going night after night.
You asked me once if the dreams were about you, and I brushed it off. But the truth is, a few of them are. The one that haunts me most is vivid and painful: it’s our wedding day, and I’m standing there waiting for you… but you walk down the aisle and marry Kevin instead. I’m left there, alone. Everyone else celebrates while I’m just standing there, invisible, discarded.
I know it’s just a dream, but it feels like my subconscious is trying to sort through all the unresolved questions I still carry, that I can’t ask. I can’t shake the feeling that there are parts of your relationship with him that you’ve kept guarded, not to be secretive, but maybe to protect us. Maybe you’re afraid it would hurt too much or spark emotions you or I can’t control.
But I hope that someday, when you’re ready and you feel safe enough, you’ll open up fully and help me understand how deep things really went with him. Not to judge, just to have peace. Because it’s hard fighting shadows when I don’t know what they’re made of.
I’m really looking forward to our trip out east. There’s so much I’ve been holding onto, places, stories, moments, that I’ve never been able to share with you, simply because of the distance. But now, I finally get to open that part of my world to you.
There are so many things I want you to see and experience, not just landmarks or scenery, but pieces of my past, the kind that shaped who I am today. It’s more than just a road trip for me, it’s a chance to bring you into parts of my life that have stayed tucked away until now. And being able to do that with you by my side… it means more than I can really put into words.
You are my entire world, the center of my heart, and the calm in my storm. With every moment we spend together, my love for you grows in ways I never thought possible. It’s in the quiet glances, the shared laughter, the way your hand fits in mine, every second with you deepens the bond I feel.
I love you more than words could ever fully express. More than I can describe, more than you may ever truly know. It’s a love that lives in every breath I take and in every hope I have for the future. You are everything to me, my love, my peace, my home.
Drifted Notes 